Revenge is a common theme in the movies and something that many moms seek to get when they have been done wrong.
There’s something satisfying about watching the wronged hero make everything right by destroying his enemy. You might even fantasize about doing the same in your own life, though on a smaller scale. Revenge is not an intelligent solution. It solves nothing and creates additional challenges including more stress in your life.
There are several disadvantages to revenge:
- Revenge extends the conflict. Obviously, if you’re considering revenge, there’s an issue of some sort. Revenge doesn’t put the issue to rest. It causes the issue to continue. Imagine if the other person then seeks his own retribution. Where does it end? Someone has to be willing to let it go.
- Revenge won’t make you feel better in the long run. Revenge is satisfying for a few minutes, but nothing has really changed. Whatever was done to upset you still exists. You can’t go back in time and alter the course of your history. Revenge accomplishes nothing in the long-term.
- Revenge isn’t free. There is always a cost. The subsequent actions of the other person may cost you. You can lose sleep, your self-respect, or even your freedom if you take things too far. Your peace of mind is also at risk.
- Revenge prolongs the pain. Time can heal all wounds, but only if you don’t reopen them. Allow your wounds to heal by moving on. Giving the situation too much attention only makes you more miserable and prolongs your misery.
Revenge isn’t a good solution to any challenge or hurt. There are wiser and more effective ways to handle your anger and pain.
What to do instead of getting revenge:
- Learn from the situation. Did you do something foolish? Were you too trusting? Was it an issue specific to the other person? How can you avoid the same outcome in the future?
- It doesn’t seem fair to let the other person off the hook, but forgiveness is for your own benefit.
- Forgive. This is easier said than done for most of us. But what other option do you really have? The only way to stop feeling bad about the situation is to let it go. You don’t have to forget. After all, it would be a shame if you didn’t learn anything from your negative experience.
- Do you need to exclude the other person from your life? Were you too naïve or unknowledgeable to make a smart decision? Determine the cause and then consider a reasonable method of prevention.
- Take advantage of a negative situation by learning from it. You’ll be a stronger and more capable person for it.
- Meditate or pray. Meditation and prayer can put your head back in the right place. You’ll feel more calm, relaxed, and centered. Clear your mind and get to a place of rational thought. You can’t be upset unless you allow yourself to be.
- Do something that you enjoy. Remind yourself that good things are all around you. Spend an evening chatting with a friend, read a good book, or make your favorite dinner. What activities do you enjoy the most?
- It doesn’t make sense to spend any more time on the negative issue than absolutely necessary.
Revenge has been a theme of movies, books, and plays. It’s a common theme in history and a natural human reaction. However, revenge seems like a better idea than it really is. Revenge hurts you more than it does the other person. Leave revenge for the movies. Forgive those that have wronged you and enjoy your life.
And remember what Gods says about revenge: “I will take revenge; I will pay them back. In due time their feet will slip. Their day of disaster will arrive, and their destiny will overtake them.” Deuteronomy 32:35